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One Movie Punch

Oct 31, 2019

NARRATOR: “Welcome back to Reign of Terror 2019! 31 straight days of horror movie reviews and interviews. And it has been 31 days indeed. Somehow, Joseph has managed to survive, but I know he’ll perish this time. Today’s episode isn’t bothering with a promo before the review.”

NARRATOR: “But for now, let’s turn out attention to Part Five of “THE FINAL STRETCH”!”

SCENE: Busy cityscape.

NARRATOR: “Oh, they thought they could stop me, but I designed this system! I know its ins and outs like no one else. I’m not sure how they accessed the demo keys, nor who is leading the rescue team, but they aren’t going to make it. None of them are!”

JOSEPH: “Is that you?!”

NARRATOR: “Oh, yuck. Joseph just saw Amy staring back at him, and they... yeah, they’re running to each other, and hugging, and, yes, even kissing.” 

AMY: “The rest of the team is on the way!” 

JOSEPH: “So good to see you! Thanks for orchestrating all of this!”

AMY: “I am One Movie Spouse, after all. Saving you is kinda my thing.” 

NARRATOR: “Ah, One Movie Spouse. O.M.S. Now I knew who was leading the raids into the system. Who else could it have been, besides the gorgeous and exuberant...” 

AMY: “Why thank you!”

NARRATOR: “One Movie Spouse!” 

AMY: “But really, I had very little to do with it. Computers aren’t really my thing.”

JOSEPH: “Well, thank you nonetheless! Where do we go from here?” 

AMY: “The three of us just need to make it to the building.” 

JOSEPH: “Seems like a long walk. Wait, three of us?” 

AMY: “We have everything under control.” 

NARRATOR: “And just like that, around the corner, an engine started up, followed by a familiar siren.”

JOSEPH: “No way!”

AMY: “Yes way!” 

NARRATOR: “Coming around the corner was the famous Ecto-1, and in the driver’s seat, despite not being old enough to drive...”

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Come on, I can literally get my permit now!" 

NARRATOR: “...was One Movie Spawn. OH! O.M.S. Now I get it!”

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Get in, losers! We’re busting some ghosts! That noobie Shane is gonna send an army after us.”

NARRATOR: “Noob? Now, see here!”

JOSEPH: “Oh man! Best. Halloween. Ever!”

NARRATOR: “They climbed into the modified hearse, hopefully a portent of doom for this new cast of characters. And they drove to the building, grimly set to the task at hand, clearly scared.”

JOSEPH: “Duh-ta-DUH-duh! DUH-duh!”

AMY: “Duh-duh-duh-duh-DUH-DUH!” 

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Quiet! I’m trying to drive!” 

TOGETHER: “Duh-ta-DUH-duh! DUH-duh!”


ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Don’t make me come back there!”

NARRATOR: “One Movie Spawn whipped around the streets with all the care of your average G.T.A. Five player, mowing down every single monster I’ve tried to set in their way. One Movie Spouse discovered the blaster turret and set to help clear the way. Since when did that car have a blaster turret?!”

JOSEPH: “Oh man, this is so much fun when I’m not facing certain death!”

NARRATOR: “No matter what I tried to do, nothing would stop their approach to the building, where about a dozen similar vehicles were parked. One Movie Spawn skidded to a stop...”

NARRATOR: “...and they got out.” 

JOSEPH: “Remind me to give you a few driving tips.” 

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Not right now. The rest are waiting upstairs.” 

AMY: “You’re going to be so happy!”

NARRATOR: “The group walked up the stairs, and since this was just a simulated environment, they didn’t tire one bit. In fact, they were singing.” 

JOSEPH: “Duh-dunt-duh.”

AMY: “Dunt-dunt-dunt-duh!”

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Will you stop that?”

JOSEPH: “Where do these stairs go, Amy?” 

AMY: “Up, Joseph. They go up!” 


NARRATOR: “Despite every effort to instill terror, clearly Joseph wasn’t having any of it. The group made steady progress, arriving at the top floor, where the gateway to another dimension, of pure evil, had been opened."

JOSEPH: “All right, Shane! We end this!”

SHANE: “Oh, we definitely end it now! And in the best way possible!” 

AMY: “Where’s that voice coming from?" 

JOSEPH: “He did it.”

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “He did what?”

JOSEPH: “He really did it.” 

AMY: “No, it’s...” 

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.” 

JOSEPH: “The monster walked toward us, waddling really, like a giant harmless stuffed animal.”

AMY: “Why are you narrating?”

JOSEPH: “Shane can’t narrate when he inhabits a character. Felt empty without it.” 

SHANE: “Oh, you think you’re clever? Well, I’ve activated nightmare mode!”

JOSEPH: “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you through all that white fluff.”

SHANE: “It means I’ve activated the highest difficulty with no respawn.” 

JOSEPH: “Perfect. I confirm.” 

SHANE: “Wait, what?”

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “And that locks us in.” 

AMY: “Now, what was the secret plan?”

JOSEPH: “We’re going to cross the streams.” 

AMY: “But I thought that was bad?” 

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Not as bad as this script.”

SHANE: “Nice one!” 

JOSEPH: “Oh, it’s bad, but it’s our only shot.”

SHAWN: “You’ll never be powerful enough to stop me in Nightmare Mode!” 

JOSEPH: “Not just us. Now, time to merge parties...” 

JOSEPH: “And just like that, spawning in around Joseph, was everyone who had helped along the way. Because it wouldn’t just be Joseph, and Amy, and One Movie Spawn. It would be...”

JOSEPH: “...and we mean business!”

SHANE: “Stop! You’ll overload the system!" 

JOSEPH: “Activate streams!” 

JOSEPH: “That’s the plan, Shane! Only by all of us coming together can we tell a fun, engaging, and entertaining story. Only by combining all our talents together, with a spirit of friendship and fun, can we defeat you.” 

SHANE: “But, but...” 

JOSEPH: “And now, Shane. It ends.”

SHANE: “No...”

JOSEPH: “On my mark...” 






SHANE: “That one kind of tickles!” 





AMY: “Hold on, we got you! Let me take off the goggles.” 

JOSEPH: “Ah, that’s better! What’s this hanging chair?” 

AMY: “It’s where they held you. The world is so engaging, you don’t even realize it’s fake.”

JOSEPH: “Wow! Let me give you a hug!”

AMY: “Wait, hold on...” 

AMY: “You haven’t used your legs for a while. It’s going to take some time to recover.” 

JOSEPH: “I should have...” 

AMY: “Listened? Yeah. We’ve been saying that.”

JOSEPH: “Where’s One Movie Spawn?” 

AMY: “She’s at home. Logged in remotely. You know how she is. She’ll be here in a moment.” 

JOSEPH: “I do. Proud of her.”

AMY: “So am I. And that sounds like...” 

JOSEPH: “Help me up!” 

AMY: “Here you go!" 

JOSEPH: “Well, Shane. What do you have to say for yourself?” 

SHANE: “I... I’m sorry.” 

JOSEPH: “This really wasn’t the way, man. I like video games as much as the next person, but this was too much.”

SHANE: “I know. I’m sorry.”

JOSEPH: “But, it’s okay, because I forgive you.” 

AMY: “Wait, what?”

ONE MOVIE SPAWN: “Are you serious?!” 

JOSEPH: “I am. Because something doesn’t quite add up.”

AMY: “What do you mean?” 

JOSEPH: “Well, if I’m adding everything up right, I’ve been in there 31 days.” 

AMY: “Yes, that’s right.”

JOSEPH: “But you said it was Halloween.”

AMY: “Well, yeah...”

JOSEPH: “But it can’t be, because the calendar over here says September 30th.” 

AMY: “Well, you see...”

JOSEPH: “And since you all knew that, you must have all been in on this as well.”

JOSEPH: “But it’s okay, because I forgive you all. You know why? Because this... was... AWESOME! Like, hella awesome! In fact, I have a great idea for the podcast. We’ll have to reboot the system, and work all night, but it’s going to be great. Imagine it – 31 episodes of horror movie reviews and interviews. We’ll have to stick in a few classic reviews, and a few interviews I have laying around, but if we work together... we can give the audience something they’ll really enjoy.”

AMY: *as Narrator* “And they did. The entire group worked throughout the night, and into the next few days, recalibrating the system, and churning out episode after episode, combining their immense talents and willingness to work together into a spectacular month of horror movie reviews. By the end, they had all reconciled, even Shane.”

SHANE: “Well, I wouldn’t call it so much a reconciliation, as a...” 

AMY: *as Narrator* “EVEN SHANE.”

SHANE: “Okay.” 

JOSEPH: “We could do this every year!”

AMY: *as Narrator* “And it was true. As long as there were podcasts willing to join the fun, they would always be invited back for another year of REIGN OF TERROR!”

JOSEPH: “Not bad!”

AMY: “Thank you!”

JOSEPH: “All right, let’s wrap it up. I need to say a few special words of thanks.”

JOSEPH: “I sincerely want to thank everyone who participated in this first annual Reign of Terror here at One Movie Punch. I honestly didn’t believe this would happen, but I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the support of the podcasting community. I want to thank our team of critics, including Amy Dobzynski, One Movie Spawn, Keith Lyons, Ryan L. Terry, and Andrew Campbell for pitching in for a few reviews. I want to thank Kerry G. Fleming, Johnny Daggers, and Colm O’Murchu for their interviews, especially for a tiny podcast like this one. I want to thank all of our podcast participants, including (in order of being featured): Lindsey Morse, of the Fab Figmentals podcast; Kelly Senatra of the Donna Martin Graduates podcast; Andrew Orsie of the Good Game, Great Game podcast; Daniel Shaw of the History of Violence podcast; Greg, Mike, and Susan from the Top 5 for Fighting podcast; Dave and Chris of the Comics in Motion podcast and The VHS Strikes Back Podcast; the ever incredible Marc and Steve from the Moviedrone podcast; Aicila and Erik from the Bicurean podcast; Julie and Kathleen from the How I Met Your Friends Podcast; D & C from the DC High Podcast; Niall Cooper of the Assassinations Podcast; the whole crew at Dice Tower Theatre; the whole crew at Pop Pour Review; and the podcast world’s best two investigators, Brandi and Sunni from Book of Lies Podcast. All of your contributions made this possible. I couldn’t ask for a better group of people.” 

JOSEPH: “Or a better narrator. I must give my absolute and most sincere thanks to Shane Hyde for taking on such an expansive role. I know I undersold the time commitment to him, but he has been nothing but amazing this entire podcast. If this were a stage, I would ask you to take a bow and received a standing ovation, but since I can’t...” 

JOSEPH: “You’ve really been brilliant. And I’m so glad we could make this happen. If you see Shane online anywhere, and especially on Twitter @lordkhadow, let him know what a great job he did. Because obviously, now that we’ve reconciled, we’ll never have to go through this again.” 

JOSEPH: “As a gift to myself, I’ll be reviewing ‘Ghostbusters’ today. I hope you enjoy the review. Thank you all for listening! We’ll see you next year!”

AMY: *as narrator* “But he would not see them next year...” 

JOSEPH: “I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

AMY: “Oh, nevermind...”


Today’s movie is “Ghostbusters”, the greatest horror comedy film ever made, directed by Ivan Reitman and written for the screen by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. In 1984, an ancient evil is awakening in New York City, bringing ghosts back to haunt the population. Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Dr. Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd), and Dr. Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) are three parapsychology professors, whose knowledge and research into the paranormal will allow them to form the only team that can save the city: The Ghostbusters! 

Spoilers will be all over the place, like you’ve been slimed.

One of the themes I like to explore with my reviews is the relationship between films and technology. I like exploring how production technologies, from film reels to smartphones, have expanded the pool of filmmakers and reduced production costs. I like exploring how theater technologies, from the advent of sound to 4DX mist sprayers, have changed the viewing experience. And I especially like exploring how home viewing technologies, from VHS cassettes to on-demand streaming, have changed the relationship of the audience to films.

In a world with more content than any one person can possibly watch, there is never a shortage of something to watch. However, this was definitely not always the case. I was a VHS child, spending close to ten years buying and renting films to watch, starting in middle school and continuing all the way to the rise of the DVD in my college years. And one of the first cassettes my family ever bought was “Ghostbusters”, and since we didn’t have on-demand anything, I watched the film a lot. By myself, when friends visited, and every Halloween, I tried to get in at least one viewing, a tradition I’ve tried to keep today.

Getting back into films these past few years, I’ve had to challenge my notions of a bunch of films I loved growing up. Films I enjoyed at the time for their advanced special effects look downright cheesy after the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Filmmakers I enjoyed a great deal have been revealed to be predatory monsters. And many films that were great when I didn’t know anything about film have turned out to be real duds on subsequent viewings. But I’m happy to say that every year, in keeping with my personal tradition, I have found today’s film to hold up every time.

In fact, I find new things about “Ghostbusters” every time I see it, because the film continues to influence our popular culture in ways throughout its history. If you didn’t see the movie in theaters, then you probably saw the animated series, which brilliantly proceduralized the movie into a series of fun adventures for children, with much less risqué behaviors. “Ghostbusters 2” was such a disappointment, coming too late after the initial film, and somehow losing part of the magic in the process, but also in some strange ways strengthening my relationship to the original film. The recent all-female cast “Ghostbusters” was pretty great, in my opinion, despite the needlessly heated and frankly sexist critiques of the film. And everyone loved the cosplay in “Stranger Things”, which brought a whole new generation to the original film in this 1980s pop culture renaissance.

Each new entry in the franchise makes me appreciate the rich and fertile creative ground of the original movie. Aykroyd’s original concept was heavily steeped in actual paranormal lore and literature, but would have been way too expensive, even after the incredible hit with “The Blues Brothers”. Ramis got involved with the re-write, giving us something much closer to the film that was eventually produced, with a much simpler story and mostly excellent humor against the same detailed backdrop. The story doesn’t rely on twists and turns, so much as a constant and steady evolution from start to finish, and multiple possibilities for future work, even if they may never want it.

Concept isn’t enough, though. Thankfully, nearly everything about this film is perfect. Casting is exquisite, channeling the twin audiences of SNL sketch comedy and Sigourney Weaver’s science-fiction credibility. Locations are all beautifully chosen and play into the story itself. Costumes are simple and practical, except when they shouldn’t be. But layered on top of all of this is the absolutely incredible melding of huge practical effects with targeted special effects of the time. For 1984, this cinematography was considered exemplary. And while we might be able to look back from our technological wonderland today, and perhaps believe we could do it better, the magic of this particular cinematography is that even knowing that, the practical and special effects never take away from the story. It’s real film magic.

“Ghostbusters” (1984) is one of the best horror comedy films of all time, taking a well-researched and well-developed story, an incredible cast, great comedic timing, and some of the best practical and special effects ever put on the screen. No matter how the franchise attempts to improve on the concept, it only reinforces the incredible original work that has delighted so many for so long. If you like horror comedy films, and you haven’t seen this film, go now and watch it. And if you haven’t seen it for a while, definitely check it out again. You’ll love it just as much. I certainly will be tonight.

Rotten Tomatoes: 97% (CERTIFIED FRESH)

Metacritic: 71

One Movie Punch: 10/10

“Ghostbusters” (1984) is rated PG and is currently streaming on Freeform and Sling TV, or by rent/purchase over VOD, or even by VHS cassette.