Jul 3, 2019
Joseph: “Last time on One Movie Punch…”
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Anchor: “Breaking news today, somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The World News Network has received a cryptic video press release, from Amy Dobzynski.”
Amy: “Good afternoon. As many of you know by now, One Movie Punch has been taken over by the Big Heads Media Podcast Network."
Amy: “All I can think about is him all alone, in that bunker, being forced to put out movie reviews, and wondering just how much he’s suffering.”
Garrett: “Along with guns.”
Keith: “How many guns?”
Garrett: “ALL THE GUNS! GIMME ALL THE GUNS!”
Andrew: “Guys, the press release...”
Joseph: “Here’s the third movie... on a VHS tape?”
Joseph: “Well, whatever you want, Retro Late Fee. And I imagine the late fee on this one is quite extensive.”
Mark: “Now I suppose we should move on to our Blockbuster Pick of the... WHAT IS THAT?!”
Carol: “Oh my God!”
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Joseph: “Near a hidden lagoon on the One Movie Punch Secret Island Base...”
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Amy: “So much for the fan support. I mean, sure, likes and retweets, but you ask them to join one little military mission.”
Garrett: “Cowards. All of them.”
Ryan: “God, all the humidity and bugs around here. What is this, Tampa?”
Keith: “Kind of surprised they all docked at the same pier down the beach, leaving this clear access point available for us.”
Andrew: “Think it might be a trap?”
Garrett: “Quiet, Admiral Ackbar! Look! Amy, get the spyglass!”
Amy: “Looks like four or five of them. Can’t really tell from this distance. I can see they’ve set up some kind of terminal into the land lines. That must be why we haven’t heard much. And... oh no.”
Ryan: “What is it? Are they torturing him?”
Amy: “Worse. They’re eating my cheesecake.”
Amy: “All right. Let’s rest tonight, and we’ll storm the gates tomorrow. Just one more day, Joseph.”
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Joseph: “Meanwhile, in the bunker...”
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Joseph: “Day four of the siege. If I have to eat one more beef stick, or another goddamn apple, while smelling the barbecue out there, I’m going to freak out. Peeked through the slot earlier. Can’t believe they’re eating the cheesecake. Saved up two months worth of cheat days for that. Oh, they’re coming back over.”
Joseph: “Here’s the fourth movie... on a flash drive. Finally, thanks guys! Easy conversion. Let’s just see what’s on this one. Pretty small file. Hope the audio quality is okay.”
Joseph: “Guys, you know... I don’t even think this qualifies as a movie. It’s barely thirty minutes long. I mean, I dig The Lonely Island, and... oh, now I get it.”
Joseph: “Well, I won’t do it. I’ve been eating nothing but beef jerky, granola bars, and filtered water. I don’t even care about the podcast anymore if this is what I’m doing. So, unless you got something to sweeten the pot...”
Joseph: “Cheesecake, huh? Well, since you’re forcing me and all, I guess... I guess I’ll... I’ll do it. Talk about Stockholm Syndrome. I hope Massive Late Fee appreciates the sacrifice. I also hope Amy never finds about about this cheesecake.”
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Here we go!
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<< MASSIVE LATE FEE PROMO >>
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This is Massive Late Fee with Mike and Mark...
Mark: “Well, hello everyone! Welcome back to Massive Late Fee. My name is Mark. With me as always is my co-host, Mike. How you doing, Mike?”
Mike: “Not too bad. How about yourself?”
Mark: “Doing good. We've taken over this island, and uh, I think we're going to have to be the stars of this entire takeover, seeing as we also went back in time and grabbed Retro Late Fee's thing. I don't know why we couldn’t have just grabbed a regular copy that still exists in the future but..”
Mike: “Yeah, I don't know.”
Mark: “That’s what we did. Today we are talking about “The Bash Brothers Experience”, a comedy film directed by Mike Diva and Akiva Schaffer, and written by The Lonely Island. I'll tell you, this podcast island is going to be a pretty lonely island when we're done with it. We're going to kill this guy. Anyway, so...”
Mike: “Geez.”
Mark: “Mike, uh, do you have any considered praise for The Lonely Island?”
Mike: “I like them in general. I'm a big fan of their SNL digital shorts. When they came out with their second album, maybe the first as well, they had quite a few, you know, like, uh, videos or release. I enjoy almost all of them that I see.”
Mark: “Yeah, this current incarnation, not of the actual Lonely Island but this film is a visual rap poem about the Oakland A's Bash Brothers, Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco, in coordination with the 30th anniversary of the Oakland A’s 1989 World Series Championship. So, this is quite an interesting and funny movie. Obviously, there's a lot of in jokes about steroids, about Mark McGwire’s sort of vanilla personality, a lot of it is just, this is the kind of stuff that I think The Lonely Island does incredibly well.”
Mike: “It's a really weird concept. I mean, no one is thinking really thinking about, you know, the 1989 World Championship Oakland A’s.”
Mark: “Yeah.”
Mike: “Actually, there’s a lot of material of Jose Canseco alone, and Mark McGwire to some degree. But yeah, it just takes it from the top. You know, it’s, uh, basically, the first thing. The entire thing, there’s no break from the music, there’s these weird little black and white shots of them doing some introspective thinking throughout, which are very odd. And he sounds very similar to Steven Seagal, which I think is deliberate.”
Mark: “I agree. Yeah, it's like a meditation on life and dying, and it's it's really, really weird. But, it also, it just, I don’t know, it adds something, I think, to the overall kind of structure of its, where it, you know, it’s broken up in that way, but I think it's hilarious.”
Mike: “Yeah, I really enjoy it. I mean, I don’t think any of the, there's probably five or six songs, maybe more. It's basically like an entire long, like an entire album, but in video form, like a concept EP about the Bash Brothers, that’s basically what this is, and this is the video to it.”
Mark: “Yeah, exactly. And, it... one thing it does really well, I think, is kind of satirized the late 80s culture to a degree.”
Mike: “Oh, for sure, there's multiple references. Like Miami Vice. There’s commercials, like the “Where's the Beef?” Lady, that sort of thing.
Mark: “Yeah, exactly. Maya Rudolph appears in it at one point. Where are they at? What parking lot? The Waffle House parking lot? Is that what it is?”
Mike: “I don’t remember. I don’t think so. It looked more like a diner-type place. But it could have been a Waffle House.”
Mark: “I just think they do a tremendous job. I love most everything that they do. And, they, they nailed it again, in my opinion.”
Mike: “I wouldn’t say any of the individual songs are, are of their... I mean, I don't think the songs are great. I mean, there’s not a single one that I like better than any of the other Lonely Island songs I’ve heard. Like, I mean, it’s obviously very limited to what you can do when you’re just focusing on a specific two-year period where Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire dominated. I would have liked to have seen Ricky Henderson in there, too, a little bit. That would have been fun.”
Mark: “Oh yeah. That could have been there could have been something to add. Ricky Henderson was obviously a big part of that team. Yeah, that would have been that would have been a fun cameo to have.”
Mike: “Dennis Eckersley and his hair?”
Mark: “Yeah, the songs are... you know, the one song, I believe it’s the first song, where he’s like: MY NAME’S <<BLEEP>> JOSE! And he’s like: AND I’M MARK! That was, that to me, was probably the funniest song of them.”
Mike: “Yeah, I would agree, although the last one is really catchy, like, the one, you know, right before, they like, and this is kind of weird too, the whole thing leads up to the ’88 championship, when they lost to the Dodgers, and then just like that, almost like an epilogue, just a title parentheses, oh yeah, by the way, they win the next year. So like, what?”
Mark: “They don't focus on the actual winning of the World Series.”
Mike: “Yeah, you would think they would have been able to focus on both years, if at all, or even just the championship year. Why you would put the championship as like an epilogue, like a twenty-second title card is beyond me. I don’t really understand that.”
Mark: “Yeah, I agree. But, you know, I wonder if they, if it’s just, they thought it was funny. I mean, that's my, that’s my best guess.”
Mike: “That seems to be their style. I mean, they have a really interesting sense of humor. Very goofy, very wacky, but also kind of shocking and vulgar as we see in this a bit. But one of my favorite parts, although again, I don’t think the music is great, which is unfortunate, because this is like a thirty-minute music video.”
Mark: “Yeah."
Mike: “I thought the songs in Pop Star Popping or Keep on Popping, or Don’t Stop Stopping, I can’t remember the name, the full title, I like those songs a lot, but there’s some really clever, you know, songs in that one, and obviously, their Lonely Island EPs are pretty good, or LPs, whatever you call them. This, I mean, again, the songs aren't terrible, but it’s like eh... like you said, the first one is easily the best song on the whole, you know, movie or whatever it is.”
Mark: “So, basically, I'm here to tell you that I guess if I had to identify a target audience for this movie... fans of The Lonely Island, I guess?”
Mike: “Yeah, I would think, like, you know, Andy Sandberg super fans? The third member of The Lonely Island, Jorma, was in there for maybe five seconds. I mean, I think they have really weird schedules now, because Andy Samberg does the uh “Brooklyn 9”, I don’t know, is it “911”?”
Mark: “99.”
Mike: “Okay, so he does that. And I know the Akiva guy, he does, uh, at least at one point, he was doing quite a bit of directing, and the Jorma guy is acting, and I don’t know if he directed this or not, but... Or if he directs, I don’t think he does anything, he just acts. Jorma is like barely in this, like maybe five minutes at best.”
Mark: “Uhhh, so, this is, uh, I mean, I guess they're calling it a TV show. We call it a movie, it's a movie, but it's rated TV-MA.
Mike: “Oh yeah, you can definitely see the MA rating on that.”
Mark: “It got... it got... it only has one review on Metacritic from a critical standpoint, so it's, it's average, they don't even have an average because of that. But it’s got an, uh, 67 on there. It has a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s IMDB score is 7.1/10.”
Mike: “Yeah, I would say that’s, and the Metacritic one you said earlier, that’s about where I would rate it. Six or seven out of ten. It’s not bad. It’s very fun in parts. The opening track is hilarious. You’re getting ready for this crazy experience, but it ever really fully delivers the experience you might be expecting. It never gets much better than the first one.”
Mark: “Yeah, I agree. The opening is the best part of it. It's almost like a digital short, kind of like you were talking about, that's, you know, maybe a five-minute digital short that just goes on for 25 more minutes of stuff that's not bad, I mean, it's not, you know, it's not bad in any way. But like you said, they've done better before, especially with the music. They've done catchier songs before.”
Mike: “And there's so many jokes you could make about I'm on steroids and it's the 80s, which is basically, every song on this is “Hey, I’m a baseball player and I’m on steroids.”
Mark: “Yeah, exactly. That is our episode. If you want to support us you can go to @MassiveLateFee on Twitter. You can email the show: massivelatefee@gmail.com. Check out, do @late_mike to find Mike on Twitter.”
Mike: “I think it’s @latefeemike now. I’m pretty sure it’s @latefeemike.”
Mark: “All right. @latefeemike on Twitter. We've taken over this island, and you can’t have it back, so One Movie Punch is dead, and long live Massive Late Fee.”
Mike: “Geez.”
Mark: “Have a good day, everyone! Bye!”
Mike: “Unlike the people we murdered, have a good day!”