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One Movie Punch

Jun 30, 2019

Joseph: “Last time on One Movie Punch…”


Andrew: “Joseph what up?”

Joseph: “Didn’t mean to eat the finger.”

Joseph: “Those jerks!”

Joseph: “Been stuck in this bunker for a day so far."

Joseph: “I wonder if they’ve blocked the dedicated modem line to our dial-up server. Is it possible that... it works!”

Joseph: “I’m sure it will take no time at all to send this file by modem, and will in no way take a week to finally post.”


Joseph: “And now, somewhere outside the communications barrier...”


Amy: “Hello, this is One Movie Punch, broadcasting on all secret frequencies. Would someone please pick up?”

Keith: “Oh, hey Amy, it’s Keith. If this is about this week’s review, I’ll have it to him tomorrow.”

Amy: “No, it’s much worse than that!” 

Garrett: “This is Garrett. What’s going on with the podcast? I saw the special episode, and figured it was some sort of joke.”

Amy: “Oh, it’s no joke.”

Ryan: “Ryan here. It’s certainly not funny. I have all these reviews to go.”

Andrew: “Andrew checking in. Me too. What’s happened?” 

Amy: “Big Heads Media have taken over One Movie Punch.”

Keith: “So, you’re saying the review can wait?” 

Amy: “No! I’m saying I need your help to reclaim the podcast!”

Garrett: “Well, I guess I can hop in the car and head to California.” 

Amy: “That’s a good start. From there, I can take you to the One Movie Punch Secret Podcasting Island Base.” 

Ryan: “Wait, we have an island base? Why wasn’t I told we had an island base?”

Andrew: “I thought that was all stock sounds!”

Amy: “Just get to California, and I’ll pick you up from there. I’m afraid of what might come next..." 


Joseph: “Meanwhile, on the island...”


Joseph: “Been stuck in this bunker for two weeks, waiting to hear anything. They’re blocking all incoming transmissions on the land line, and stopping all outgoing transmissions, even the modem line. Took a week to send one tiny little podcast file. Nearly run out of granola bars, beef jerky, and bottled water in here. Luckily we had that bathroom installed.” 

Joseph: “Another note. Let’s see what they want now. Uh-huh. Looks like the only outgoing transmissions must contain their reviews. You know, we have Takeover Tuesday for this very thing, but, well, I guess this works as far as they’re concerned, too. Let me just write back here...”

Joseph: “I accept. Will podcast for food and water. Send first review.”

Joseph: “And now we wait...”

Joseph: “That was quick. What’s the first movie... let me read the note. How I Met Your Friends. The Craft. 1996. Well, I can already tell you didn’t do your homework correctly. Sure, I graduated high school in 1996, but I didn’t meet my friends in a coven of witches. Oh, wait, there’s another side to the note... How I Met Your Friends Podcast. Two friends, two epic shows... oh, it’s a podcast. One Movie Spouse would probably love it. Well, time to get to work.”

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Here we go!




Hi, this is Julie from How I Met Your Friends Pod, and this is my review of “The Craft”.

Today’s movie is “The Craft” (1996), the drama film directed by Andrew Fleming and written for the screen by Andrew Fleming and Peter Filardi. The Craft centers on a group of four teenage girls, Sarah (Robin Tunney), Nancy (Fairuza Balk), Rochelle (Rachel True), and Bonnie (Neve Campbell), at a Catholic high school in Los Angeles, who find solace and friendship through witchcraft. The film also stars well-known 90s actors Skeet Ulrich, Breckin Meyer, and Christine Taylor. This review may contain spoilers, and this movie deals with domestic abuse, rape, racism, and suicide.

This is one of my favorite movies of all time. I was 15 when it was released in the theaters and I was obsessed, not only because it was chock full of 90s apparel, hair, and music, but because I could relate to every character. And in watching 23 years later, I’m happy to say that I think those qualities hold up, with maybe one or two issues arising.

First, the characters. Sarah is kind and just wants to make friends at her new school. She’s possibly a little naïve and too trusting, and with a history of depression and a suicide attempt, she’s a sensitive soul. Nancy is the leader of the coven Sarah meets at school. Nancy is “white trash” being raised by an alcoholic mom and “stepdad” (though this is never explained to us), and she wants control. Rochelle is bullied by Laura Lizzie (Christine Taylor), who hates her because Rochelle is black. Bonnie is shy and quiet, and dealing with scars from a traumatic accident as a child. Each of these ladies embodies something any teenager in 1996 or 2019 is dealing with.

Second, the story. When Sarah falls for Chris (Skeet Ulrich), the popular football player, he spreads rumors about her, that further isolate her in this new school, and drive into the circle that Nancy, Rochelle, and Bonnie are dying to complete. After all, you need four to call the corners. Sarah joins the group, though she seems wary, and they introduce her to their local magic shop, run by Lirio (Assumpta Serna), who senses Sarah is not like the others.

(Fun Fact: Fairuza Balk bought Panpipes Magickal Marketplace in LA so that it wouldn’t be turned into a restaurant. It’s sadly not open anymore.)

The four girls combine their talents, call the corners, and begin to cast spells to improve their lives: Sarah casts a love spell, Bonnie casts one to heal her scars, and Rochelle casts one to stop Laura’s bullying. What they don’t realize is that magic must balance itself in nature, and they will get back what they sent out, threefold. The tipping point comes when Nancy invokes the spirit of Manon (described as the stadium in which God and the Devil would play football — weird, but ok). Nancy’s newfound power corrupts an already unstable mind, and she seeks revenge against Chris after he tries to rape Sarah. Sarah’s attempt to fix it results in a battle against Nancy, Rochelle, and Bonnie, testing Sarah’s will to fight back and find her inner warrior.

(Warning: if you hate snakes, insects, and rats, this will get you.)

Third, how the movie has aged. There are several issues — Chris telling everyone he had sex with Sarah, Laura Lizzie using a racially insensitive word to Rochelle — that feel especially disgusting in 2019 but, for me, that illustrates why I believe this move has aged well and is still relevant. Watching it again gave me as much joy as it did dozens of times I’ve watching it with friends. 

As 90s teen cult classics go, I think “The Craft” is one that deserves a comeback. The themes of teen bullying, racism, sexual assault, and peer pressure are all relevant, and the characters and script are so well-written and acted that 2019 teenagers and adults will find it a good watch.

Rotten Tomatoes: 57%

Metacritic: 80

One Movie Punch: 9.0/10

The Craft (1996) is rated R and is available on Crackle, YouTube, Amazon Prime, Google Play, and Vudu.