Jan 18, 2018
Today’s movie is “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” (2017), the fifth installment in the popular Disney franchise, following up the poorly received “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” (2011). Six years is a long time to wait for a franchise in today’s entertainment world, and yet, this film still managed to gross $794 MILLION (with an M) dollars worldwide.
The franchise picks up roughly 21 years after “At World’s End”, where the son of Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner, Henry (Brenton Thwaites) is searching for Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) to locate the Trident of Poseidon, to break the curse of Davy Jones over his father. Meanwhile, an educated woman named Carina (Kaya Scodelario) to be burned at the stake as a witch, who has also been looking for the Trident, based on a book left with her when she was abandoned outside an orphanage at a young age.
Captain Jack Sparrow, on another run of bad luck, and looking for something to drink, decides to trade his compass for a bottle of booze, releasing the undead ship of Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), who was tricked by a young Jack Sparrow and trapped in the Devil’s Triangle, along with an entire crew of undead pirate hunters, now free to seek Sparrow for revenge, and with the help of Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush).
That’s just the setup, and on paper, it seems like a decent setup until it is expanded into a full script, rehashing everything we’ve already seen in previous installments, including lame humor, supernatural pirate crews, too many sub-plots, and everything once again revolving around Jack Sparrow. The problems with the script, as they often do, spread into the performances, the direction, and the overall effect of the film. I will say the film looks amazing, with great costumes, practical effects, and special effects, but even those great strengths are more often than not ruined by contrived dialogue or terrible humor.
Overall, I found the film disappointing. The appearances of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann felt so tacked on, almost like insurance that their reunion scene made it into the canon, even while adding the post-credits teaser/stinger. I think this film makes the same mistake as “On Stranger Tides”, forgetting that the strength of the original trilogy included Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, and without a major presence, the film relies too much on Depp’s performance, and I left disappointed. I suspect, based on box office alone, that there will be a sixth film, although I’m not sure there is much to salvage.
Rotten Tomatoes: 30%
Metacritic: 39
One Movie Punch: 4.0/10 (All Special Effects)
“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” (2017) is rated PG-13 and is streaming on Netflix.